Monday, March 9, 2015

40 Interviews

The Lord has been showing me many things and every time I want to write a blog post about it - I feel very strongly not to. The things I am going through are for me and the people in my life and just not for the general public. I went on my 40th job interview recently and got my 40th rejection letter. 40, as you know, is a very significant number in scripture. It signifies a time of trial and testing and also judgement. Let me tell you, try going on 40 job interviews in two years and not get a single job offer. It is definitely trials and tribulations, especially if money is so tight. But, as is His mercy and grace, somehow we made it through each month, with all our needs met - and financially, it could not be worked out on paper.

I fully understand the verse now that talks about the difference between a single woman and a married one. The single woman is free to be fully submitted to the leading of the Holy Spirit, where a married woman has to be concerned with the WORLD - how she may please her husband. This is nothing against my husband, who is the promised husband. He is a really good husband, who takes care of my heart and is protective and my very best friend. He loves me very deeply, more deeply than anyone has ever loved me in my whole life, and I love him deeply. I am fully submitted to him and his decisions are very good, but I definitely do not feel the freedom to walk by the spirit like I did before. Yet there are reasons for this because the Lord continues to purge me and teach me and perfect me. The 40 signifies that the walk continues, the journey is the same, just time for new lessons that cannot be learned as a single woman. A new phase, with deeper understanding.

My husband wanted me to get a job. My family as well. So I applied to all sorts of jobs. Really good jobs, crappy part time jobs. I even applied at Game Stop because of my vast knowledge of video games. The woman who interviewed me told me that she had never played a video game before she got her job as she proceeded to tell me that I was overqualified to work there. Hello, I am more qualified to work there than you lady! Whatever. I went on a 3 hour interview for a library and made the horrible mistake of saying that if I didn't know how to do something I could Google it, and I don't know what we did before we had Google. The woman looked at me in horror. Oh yeah, that's right. Before Google people went to the library and looked stuff up. Towards the end, I had extremely good interviews. The kind where the people interviewing me made a point of telling me, well done, and that it was a great interview. But, still I wouldn't get the job. Lots of people would give me unsolicited advice. Where I should apply, what websites to go to. I'd be like, Hello! I've had 40 job interviews, you don't think I'm looking for work?! Yet at the end of the day, no doors were opened, no job offers. I know why that is. God does not want me to work in the secular realm.

One of the big lessons I learned while in Casper, was the cut-throat, wicked ways of the world. Both in the workplace and in the church. My aunt would ask me if I wanted to go to a worship service with music at the local church. So I would go with her. People would be standing up with their arms raised and their palms facing the music with tears streaming down their faces like this was so from God. I would think to myself, this is a rock concert. Shouldn't we be holding up our lighters and screaming WhooHoo! The message in the services had no depth. Outwardly it looked like it belonged to God, but basically it was just like the world. Empty shows with no real truth.

My job there, was, as Les Visible likes to say, for the purpose of demonstration. A clear picture of the evil in high places. A microcosm that represents the ways of the world that I could see up close and personal. Unethical behavior, lies, deceit, cowardice, manipulation, back room deals, and targeted attacks. The lies and deception of the world has saturated every strata of society, even down to the local level. Our very own country is on the verge of becoming the new Hitler's Germany.

But, I am not to be one who concentrates on the world. I am not one who's heart is failing them for fear of the things coming on the earth. My job is to seek the Lord with my whole body, mind, and soul. The people who are locked into the manufactured reality of the world do not understand the calling of God and walking by the spirit of God. It is foolishness to them. It doesn't matter what anyone thinks about it. I will continue to seek the Lord, through trials, tribulations, and purging.

Hope you all are well.
Love in Christ.


Thursday, January 15, 2015

I know - I feel awful about it

I'm sorry I haven't posted in so long. I really have been busy and I still do not have internet access in the RV. My husband and I had a wonderful wedding and he is such a good husband. He always opens doors for me and even insists on going out and scraping the ice off of the car for me. It truly is a miracle that I found someone like him. Things are good between us.

We moved off the farm at the beginning of October because the weather was starting to turn bad and we needed to move closer into town. We are parking the RV at my aunts house with our two cute puppies. I have to go into my aunts house to get online, but I'm finally at a place where I have more free time in order to blog. I'll try to post more often in the future.

Thursday, July 3, 2014

July update

We have been living and working on my sisters farm for the past two months. I got a 1978 Persuader RV for an engagement ring and we are getting married July 27th. Its a crazy month since we have 6 birthdays, an anniversary, the huge family reunion and then we get married and have our honeymoon. Life is very good at the moment, quite possibly the best it has ever been in my life and I'm very happy with the way things are going. I would love to post all the amazing stories that we have been experiencing but we don't have internet access where we are staying and I'm only checking my email once or twice a week if that. We will probably be staying on the farm for the next couple months or at least till the fall since there is a lot of work here and we can stay here rent-free.

Hope you all are doing well and I will try to post when I can, but it will be sporadic at best until things settle down and we have internet access again. Take care my friends!

Friday, April 4, 2014

Wednesday, April 2, 2014

Whispers of the farm...

Long time readers will remember that my sister's farm has always been an oasis for me on my journey. Many times I have found healing and refreshing there. I have been back in Oregon for 10 months. I have been on 26 job interviews without a job offer. Most people say I should be thankful that I even get job interviews and that is due in part because I have such a rocking resume. But let me tell you - after being on 26 job interviews without an offer it can be very discouraging. Except that it isn't. Every time I did not get a job I knew it was because the Lord did not open that particular door for me and I just needed to wait until He did.

I knew very clearly that the Lord had closed all the doors for me in Casper and opened the way for me to come back to Oregon. For the first couple months here I was very discouraged and wondering if I had misread the signs after all. Until in August when I met the best boyfriend ever and everyday I spend with him, I know for a fact that I am where I am supposed to be.

My sister and her husband both got laid off from their jobs. They began to seriously look at the idea of having a working farm that generated an income. They got a nursery license and a business license. There was a part of me that was jealous because I wanted to be able to work on the farm too - an endeavor I would enjoy so much more than working for the man.

My boyfriend and I are going to buy an RV in May and we talk very seriously about getting married then too. ("It WILL happen" he assures me.) We discussed how cool it would be to park our RV at the farm and help work it, and maybe even have some chickens of our own or something like that.

We had my sister and her husband over for a BBQ because my boyfriend is a master chef and his BBQ sauce is the BEST. I realized that was the first time I had ever had them over for dinner before. When you cook like I do, inviting people over for dinner is not really such a good idea. During our conversations I told my sister that I could help set them up with a website. She called me a few days later to ask if I was still interested in designing her website but she said that she would not be able to pay me. So I told her about our idea of parking the RV at the farm - and as a barter system - help them work the farm instead of paying rent. She said she needed to bring up the idea to her husband and they would get back to us.

A couple days later she called back to say they thought that was an excellent idea. So starting in May we will be out of the city and living at the farm full time. It is very exciting. My boyfriend and I took a 5 week class called "Seed to Supper - A beginners guide to starting your own garden" and planted our own container garden that can go with us in the RV. We are excited about our future.

Lots of love!

Tuesday, March 11, 2014

The Ages Within

Wow. I just read one of the most profound articles. If you can understand the truth that what is without you is also within you than you will be blown away with this truth, just as I was. From J. Eby Preston, a man who I have the utmost respect for:

God has plenty of time. His plan is the plan of the ages. Consider how many ages the Lord’s people have passed through since the day Adam and Eve were driven from Eden! God’s progressive purpose began ages ago, and will extend into vast ages yet unborn. In one sense each of us is a microcosm within the macrocosm. There are ages within us. I lived a Pentecostal age, and it ended. I lived out a Latter Rain age, and it ended. I lived out an Anglo-Israel age, and that ended too. I lived out an Apocalyptic age, and God took that heaven and rolled it up within myself. Everyone of us has lived ages within ourselves, according to God’s plan of the ages. All creation will come the same way, not necessarily with identical ages, but they will grow experientially into God from glory to glory, and God has plenty of time! God has brought us from Abraham to the Manchild in our brief lifetime, for the ages are within us.

You can read the rest here.
I'm sorry but WOW~! That so made sense to me.

Life is a series of answers. You just have to ask the right questions.

Whatever is without - is also within.

The kingdom of God is within you. That is the beginning of your search.

Lots of love my friends~