Sunday, May 19, 2013
I can't sleep. My head keeps thinking about the Budget Rental truck and how I will put my furniture and boxes into it in the most efficient way. I keep wondering if a 10 foot truck will be big enough to fit it all in. It is ironic since I came here less than two years ago with only my guitar, my backpack and one suitcase. But I do not feel led to get rid of all the furniture. I believe I will have need of it in the future and I have a friend back home who said I can store my stuff in her garage for free. I will be staying at my parents at the beginning anyway.
I had a job interview on Friday via Skype. I didn't think it went very well. It was blurry and there was a delay and I felt the three interviewers were very stiff and humorless. Maybe I don't want that job anyway. Regardless - the Lord is in charge of all those details and maybe it is just another confirmation that I need to move to Oregon first and then be able to go on interviews in person - I'm pretty sure the camera adds 45 pounds or so anyway - something like that.
I have another week before I can leave. I wanted to move this week but with the Memorial day holiday it made it hard to return the truck and would have cost extra so I will have to move after the holiday. But now my aunt and I may drive up to Greybull that weekend so I can see my grandparents one last time before I leave the state.
I found a buyer for my van. It is sad to see it go because I love that van and all the adventures I had in it. But it is a gas hog and would not do well in all the Portland traffic. My mom has a hybrid that she is not driving right now and my parents said that I can drive her car for as long as I need it.
Friday was my last day at work although I had basically checked out the day I gave my notice. That place really screwed me over and I really felt that I just needed to get the hell out of there before they were able to screw me over again. I feel a huge sense of relief that I never have to go back to that place.
I'm not sure if I will be posting again before I move. The cable will be shut off and I have to return the equipment on Thursday so I will have my last couple days here without internet. I don't know if I can survive without the internet! (kidding) So most likely I will post again from the road - I'm pretty sure I will be staying at a hotel at least once if not twice on the way home. My parents and my sister wanted to send my nephew out to help me with the drive but it really would have been more of a hardship on me to have him with than to just do the drive myself. I know the Lord is on the drive with me so I am not worried about the trip at all. My family seem to be doing any worrying for me.
Anyway please pray for my trip and the move and everything.
Love in Christ!
Monday, May 6, 2013
I know it has been a while since I wrote on this blog. There is a part of me that is considering ending this blog but I'm not quite there yet.
The last couple of months have been chaotic to say the least. My mom has been very sick and since all the upheaval and betrayal at my work, it is time to return to Oregon. The Lord has been closing the doors for me here for the last couple months and even though I like my new position - it is not enough for me to stay here. My work here is done, it is time to go home.
So my last day at work is May 17th and I will be heading back to Oregon in the budget rent a truck on May 29th. I came here empty and I'm leaving here full. There were those of us who had hoped that I would find my husband out here in Wyoming - but alas - it is not to be. I have learned the lessons the Lord wanted me to learn out here and I will have more lessons to learn when I get back.
Love in Christ
Thursday, March 28, 2013
On the surface things are calmer but the battle continues still. The battle rages, within and without. Without I have told you about – the shoe police and losing my job even if the Lord opened a new one – the bitterness and unfairness was very hard on me to come to grips with. Within I wrestle with carnality and fleshly desires and I cling to them like a small child does with his security blanket. I tell the Lord I am angry with him for the script He has written of my life – of pain and disappointment and betrayals at the highest levels. I cry because I do not want to be the spiritual one – the one placed here to accomplish HIS will and not my own. I scream at Him because my current assignment is the hardest of all and I want to stomp my feet and say – I want this one for myself – I do not have the strength, the character, the ability to speak for you and be where you want me to be.
“My grace is sufficient for you – for my strength is made perfect in weakness.”
In the morning I am broken. In my brokenness I recognize what I knew all along. That every pain, hurt, betrayal, and suffering that I endure is for my perfecting. That the Lord wrote every word of my life for my maturing and for His amazing purposes of love and mercy and grace. He is not some hack writer but a brilliant author – and the story is not finished yet. It is the 2nd day. Martin Zender does a great radio teaching on the 2nd day. He uses the example of the movie “Field of Dreams.” The first day is the revelation to build the field and they will come. So he builds the field. On the second day – no one comes and it looks like it was all for nothing. The second day is long and hard and hopeless. But the third day – they come, and the revelation comes to pass.
All children of God have to wait for the manifestation of the prophecy concerning their life. Abraham was told he would have a son but he had to wait for 25 years before the son was manifested. Joseph had a dream that his family would bow down to him but it would be 13 hard years of trials and tribulations before the truth of that revelation came to pass. David was anointed King and it was many years of heartache and battles before he was to rule the land. No child of God is matured by any other way. The weakness has to come to the surface so that it can be cleansed and dealt with from the Father. I wish I would have obeyed from the start without the spiritual tantrum – but it is too late now. Yet, there is no way to be an overcomer without something to overcome. Where sin abounds, grace super-abounds.
“Be still and know that I am God”
It is time to be still. To sit quietly and wait on the Lord and know that everything He does – is for a reason and is perfect. To trust that what He has started in me He will finish. He has placed me here and put people in my life for His purposes and my job is to submit to His will. Please pray for me.
Lots of Love
Tuesday, February 26, 2013
The wicked watcheth the righteous, and seeketh to slay him. Psalms 37:32
I guess the shoe police decided not to talk to me again. She grunts like I am not worthy of actual words. But it was worse because she was undermining my ability to do my job by not letting me know that my boss was going to be traveling next week and I had to scramble to reschedule all my bosses meetings. In her attempt to systematically destroy me – she was actually hurting my boss and the whole thing came to a head on Friday.
But my Father was one step ahead of her and He opened up a new position in another department in just the nick of time. What she meant for evil – He meant for good and I may actually get a raise out of the deal. But it establishes the fact that He wants me to be here – to accomplish His purposes, whatever they may be.
I have a lot of friends here and people are upset with the way she tried to sabotage me. I am glad that I will not have to come back here to this office every day and see her smugness at having forced me out. So I have taken care of all my loose ends and then I will take a couple days off to clear my head and be fresh to start my new job on Thursday.
Pray for me.
Lots of Love
Thursday, February 21, 2013
My tennis shoes were royally pissing her off.
She made up some other reasons to hate me too, reasons which were not true. But the shoe thing was the only accusation she had that she could really prove.
I’ve never been a shoe person. I know, I know, a lot of women LOVE shoes but I’ve always been happy in a pair of good Nikes. I was told that I need to up the professionalism in the shoe department which was ok in the long run because I was able to go out and buy some very cute shoes.
If it wasn’t for my one boss taking a stand for me, I may not have had a job. They had to tell the girl (like you would a 7th grader) that she had to start talking to me. She had only spoken 10 words to me since Christmas and was starting to not talk to me about work situations as well. Now she is grudgingly talking to me again.
There was a moment when the situation was still unresolved that I almost wanted to lose my job. I began to think about what furniture I would take back to Oregon and what furniture I would sell or give to Goodwill. My mom is sick and my best friend in Oregon is 74 and not well and I wanted an excuse to go home. But this situation proved to me yet again, that it is the Lord’s will for me to be here. This particular girl has been able to get away with running off several other girls from my position so I count it as a miracle that I still had a job when all was said and done.
So for some reason that I still don’t know this is still where the Lord wants me to be.
Still waiting with Lots of Love!
Wednesday, January 30, 2013
I’m teaching myself Morse code. Mostly because I am starting a new Amateur radio class on Saturday at 9am. The class is free and being held at the hospital (so I can walk from my house) and at the end of the class I will be able to get my technician’s license. I’ve always been interested in the concept of ham radio and the survivalist in me thinks it is worth the price. I’m excited about it.
I’ve already learned some interesting facts. Such as, those in the know don’t call it “dots” and “dashes” but “dits” and “dahs”. I’m finding that I’m learning the visual part of the code much faster than the audio part – and the audio part is what is important. Morse code is almost always sent as a sound language and not a visual language. But I found this great website that has you-tube lessons. I’ve only taken lesson one so far, but I’m learning it pretty fast. Here is the website:
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